Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
