I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
