Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
