I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
