Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
