Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
