I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
