I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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