I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
