Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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