i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
