he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
