just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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