With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
