oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
