This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
