I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
