Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
