The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
