He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
