just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
