no. you can't hotbox the world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
