I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
