I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
