So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
