It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You ruined the universe
Randomize