i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
