Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
