just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
