Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
