TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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