please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
