similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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