Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
