Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sorry about my life...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
