Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
