I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
