just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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