you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
