I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish I only lived at night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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