What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
