Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
