You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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