I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
