I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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