...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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