She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize