Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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