these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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