He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Even my vagina gasped.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
