You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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