when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
