In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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