epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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