evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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