Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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