I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
