I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
