I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
