Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
