i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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