I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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