Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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