She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
