i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
