Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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