he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
