Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
