There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have peed in a lot of sinks
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
