from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize