i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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