The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
