what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
