pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My vagina just recognized that song.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
