Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
