Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
